Our Circumstances Vs. God's Plans

Despite a wonderful surprise delivery this afternoon (I thought I had brought my last bundle of joy into the world for the month yesterday), and a lovely dinner and leisurely drive with my husband this evening, I can't shake the "blahs" today. Have you ever had a day like that?

I was given disappointing news fairly recently, and it's been gnawing at the back of my mind ever since, attempting to change my attitude and perspective.

I ran across this on Pinterest and stopped in my tracks. 

This spoke to my heart and lifted my spirits. As humans, we're severely limited - handicapped, really - with being able to see the big picture. God's told us many times not to worry - He's got it under control! As long as we're following His will, His plan for our lives never wavers. How comforting is that knowledge, if we truly let it sink in?

Let go of today's circumstances, and let God remind you of the purpose to which you've been called!

A House Divided

I had a phone conversation with my sister last night in which I discussed an issue that's always at the back (or the forefront) of my mind: babies!

Children are one of my passions, and have been since an early age. Just ask Macee; she's been "my" baby since she first made her debut in this world. And although Aaron doesn't publicly show it, he's as excited to become a father as I am to become a mother. 

We've stayed up many late nights in bed determining when the "right time" will be for us to start our family. We've received advice from nearly every friend and acquaintance on the matter; but truth be told, our circumstances are unique. Yes, we know we could make it work at this point in our training. Yes, we know there is no "perfect" time. However, we haven't waited 4 years only to drop our kids off at daycare all day and not be able to spend much time with them on nights and weekends because we must work or study. Those early years are too precious to us to miss out on. 

So we wait. Even though my heart aches at times. And in the meantime, we enjoy the perks of there being just the two of us. 

"Alone time", all the time. Date nights and getaways on a whim. Spoiling each other with gifts and attention that we know will be devoted to the children we one day conceive. 

We remain a house divided. Our hearts drawn to starting a family soon, while our heads remind us that it will be so worth waiting until later. 

We're free to babysit in the meantime! :)

Homesick

We've been in Ardmore for over two weeks now, and while I'm enjoying the clinic and the housing is very nice, I can't help but feel homesickness creeping up on me.
There's just something about your own bed. Your own bathroom (this is a big one for me). And I might sound crazy, but the familiar smell of your own home. Ours is a mixture of our laundry detergent and the combination of two candles I burn together often. It would be very nice to get a big whiff of that right now. :)
Most of all, I miss my family. This is the longest we've gone without seeing each other in quite awhile, and I can't wait to catch up with them in person.
I don't think you can ever grow old enough to be immune to homesickness, even if it's not as strong as the first time you spent a week at summer camp. It just shows that your home (and its people) is worthy of being missed.

Case Highlights

This week was a good representation of family practice in my books. I performed 2 PAP smears, countless well-child checks, and investigated everything from sore throats and runny noses to rashes and UTIs. Throw in a little management of chronic diseases such as hypertension and diabetes, and you've summed the profession up nicely.
A few of the highlights this week (pathologically speaking):
Dengue fever - and no, the child hadn't traveled outside the U.S.
An inspiring little patient with sickle cell anemia
Reassuring 50 worried moms, "That's totally normal." 
The questions commonly stem from me asking if baby is eating/sleeping/pooping okay (the three main issues), and if they have any additional questions or concerns. A little piece of advice? You are not required to summon additional questions or concerns upon that prompt. I'd much rather have an overcautious mother, however, than one who is neglectful. I'm sure I'll assume the overly cautious role one day as well. :)
West Nile virus cases - there's been a high rate of infection in this area. Yet another reason for me to stay indoors!
After a nap this afternoon, I'm comfortably settling into the weekend with my hubby, a pizza, and a Redbox movie or two. Hope yours is relaxing as well!

Good Shepherd Clinic

One of the requirements for our Rural Clinic is to volunteer within the community. Aaron and I spent part of the afternoon at the Good Shepherd Clinic, which serves the indigent population.  

My husband and I have had similar experiences in the past, and each one reminds us of our goal to spend a portion of our time serving the under-served. 

They need to feel as if they're being heard when they explain their problems. They need to feel as though they're respected as a person, which they deserve. Above all, they need to feel as though someone cares about them.

What a glorious feeling it is to be able to provide those needs, even if just for a couple of minutes. 

Cheers and Jeers

Cheers: This month's Rural Clinic rotation in Ardmore. After yet another solo baby delivery this afternoon, some unique pathology in the clinic, and a lot of play time with kiddos during well-child visits, I finally feel as though I'm practicing medicine...not just studying it.

Jeers: Mothers who fail to put their children before themselves. You don't deserve the immense blessing that is a child when so many selfless others would give anything for the opportunity to cherish a life that is not their own. Unfortunately, I've dealt with several of these women lately.

Jeers: Adults who whine and complain about having to go to work - especially when said work is in an air-conditioned environment with no hard labor required and/or part-time. There are so many individuals that would be grateful for the luxury of having a steady job and income, especially in this economy. Suck it up, shut up, and slap a smile on your face to change that nasty attitude.

Cheers: The 30th Olympic Games. Although my bedtime has been much later than usual, the husband and I can't help but glue ourselves to the action every evening, suturing supplies in hand. There's nothing else I'd rather do while practicing my runs and knots. I'm afraid it will feel like the day after Christmas when the broadcasts end. As a coping mechanism I will focus on forming a plan to be in Rio in 4 years.

Twenty-Seven

A couple of weeks ago I celebrated my 27th birthday in advance with my family in Tulsa. 

We started the day off with lunch at Herbert's, a butcher shop that serves authentic Cajun food and has some of the freshest seafood this far inland. We heard of it through word of mouth, and the fried shrimp, oyster po' boys and fries did not disappoint! 

Next we headed to Dillard's, where I gifted myself with a classic Antonio Melani black leather clutch on clearance. Paying $30 for a $100 purse? Happy birthday to me!

We caught a matinee showing of The Dark Knight Rises, which was one of the best movies I've seen in quite awhile. The bonus was the fact that it was nearly devoid of foul language and contained no sex scenes - so refreshing these days!

After chowing down on some jalapeno ranch dip and Chicka-Chicka-Boom-Boom enchiladas at Chuy's (so yummy!), we headed back to our house for birthday "cake" and presents.

I requested a White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory...and the family happily obliged. :) Absolutely delicious and the perfect way to cap off the day.

The fam spoiled me rotten with gifts; here are just a few of my faves (though I was in love with everything).

This Lorac palette has the most highly pigmented, flattering shades. I normally don't buy makeup palettes because there are inevitably a few colors I will not use that go to waste. I know everyone has been raving about the new Naked palette, but after sampling the two in Sephora, I preferred the Lorac shades and size of each eyeshadow. I'll be using these neutrals for months!

I'm attempting to collect classic pieces to make our house feel more cozy for years to come. These iron lanterns from Pottery Barn caught my eye. I received two of the large size, and they were even more gorgeous in person! Now to decide where to place them...

I'm a words of encouragement kind of gal, along with my family members, so we exchange a lot of cards. I date and store them in photo boxes for preservation. My sister made me such a thoughtful gift - a photo box decorated with crystals and pearls with my favorite picture of us as little girls mod-podged onto the inside of the lid. I love it!

I'm not so excited to be twenty-seven, as I feel thirty is now just around the corner. On the bright side, my loved ones make each year better than the last, so growing older promises many new memories. I'm grateful for my life, and looking forward to the next year and what it has in store!

Babies, Babies, and More Babies

After my first vaginal delivery last Friday, I was eager to have another opportunity in order to become more comfortable with the process. My wish was certainly granted when I returned to work this week.
I've delivered 2 more babies vaginally, as well as assisted on my first C-section, thus far. The doc's been a wonderful teacher in that he turns it over to me while being only a step away if I encounter any trouble. I'm literally performing the entire procedure, from the time the baby crowns to the time I deliver the placenta, and I'm confident enough now to be the only one in the room if need be. I even freed the cord from the neck of today's special delivery with ease. Yay!
The C-section was also the first surgery I've scrubbed in on, so it was doubly exciting. I also experienced being "pimped" for the first time by the surgeon. From how many layers we cut through (seven) to the identification of structures (difficult to orient when the uterus is flipped upside down and rotated!), my knowledge was put to the test throughout the procedure. This was all while trying to remember how to properly handle the tools and instruments and pulling the appropriate structures/layers back so that the surgeon's view was unobstructed. Overall, it was a success. I do, however, need to become reacquainted with my Netter's.

The kit we use for circumcisions - doesn't the middle instrument just look scary?

My doc obtained permission for me to perform circumcisions on two of the little ones we delivered this week. I felt like such a horrible person as those poor babies wailed! It's a big blessing that they don't remember a thing.
We have another induction planned on Friday morning, and this student doctor is ready for #5!

First Baby Delivery!

Friday was my first day with the physician to which I've been assigned for my Rural Clinic here in Ardmore. To say I was thrust into the routine would be an understatement. As this is only my second clinical rotation, I'm still very "green." However, when asked if I was comfortable with seeing patients by myself, I mustered up some confidence and jumped right in (knowing that the doctor was always a room or two away if I had any questions or concerns). It's forcing me to figure things out, and quickly.
My first day was made memorable when I stepped out of a room just after finishing with a patient to a doctor saying, "We've got to go, now! Are you ready to deliver a baby?"
Ready? No. Excited? Yes!
We hurriedly crossed the street to the hospital, and on the way I received a 1-minute tutorial that left a lot of questions unanswered. The doc reassured me that he would be alongside me the entire time, which somewhat calmed my nerves, followed by the statement, "Just don't drop it." What?!?

We entered the room, put on our gowns and gloves, and immediately saw the baby crowning. Only a few minutes and pushes later, the head came out. I quickly checked to see if the cord was wrapped around the infant's neck, and it was...twice! The doctor freed the cord and I was called into action.
It all seems a blur. I wasn't sure where to position my hands after freeing the first shoulder, but after the doc placed them correctly, I pulled straight up - and baby made its debut! A beautiful baby girl with lots of dark hair.
It was difficult to hold the infant in one arm while suctioning the mouth and nostrils and clamping the cord with my other free hand. The dad almost cut my finger off when attempting to cut the umbilical cord from nerves and ended up having to sit down to avoid passing out. I'm grateful I wasn't right there with him.
The mother had a small labial tear, which I sutured, but otherwise did wonderfully. Thank you, epidural!
It was short and sweet, messy (I won't go into detail for those of you that are squeamish), and utterly beautiful. I feel so blessed to have helped bring new life into the world and will treasure the experience forever.

A Birthday and A Burial

Today is my birthday, but it's also the day my family will lay to rest my Grandpa Bill.
He's technically my step-grandfather, but he entered my life at such an early age that he's ever-present in my memories. More importantly, he treated my sister, cousins and I as if we were his own grandchildren.
I saw this quote on Pinterest this morning, and thought it very wise.

I've said it before, and I'll continue to say it until I'm blue in the face. Life is all about relationships. Wealth, status, and fame mean nothing at its end.
So pursue a life of purpose and meaning, filled with joy; don't let your attitude, actions, or other people hold you back. Invest your time and energy in those you hold dear to avoid regret.
I'm so thankful for the relationships I possess with my family and true friends, and I'm grateful to have had one with Bill.
The day is new, so I will choose to celebrate life!