Spiritual Tests

It's been a rough week in the Relic household. We've had some major spiritual tests come our way, and I failed. Miserably. My husband, however, did not.
We often pray for God's perfect will to take place in our lives. At the same time, we also often have in mind what that is. When we place our trust in God and ask Him to take over, yet reality doesn't match what we had imagined coming into fruition, the most difficult thing is to continue to trust in Him.
This should be an easy task if I look back over his "track record" in my life. Disappointments that later became blessings and closed doors that redirected me to better opportunities are the hallmark of my life. Yet it only takes the newest disappointment for doubt to creep in.
One of the areas in which I struggle most is anger. Over the years, I've really grown in handling those emotions when others attack or hurt me. However, I still struggle when others attack or hurt my loved ones. It's like someone awakens a sleeping bear inside me. Mama bear, who sets out to trample anyone and anything in my family's path. Mama bear was poked this week, and I'm ashamed to say I let my emotions rule me. Was my anger justified? I believe so. My actions, however, were not. As I mentioned earlier, I failed. In continuing to trust God, and in how I conducted myself.
The light at the end of the tunnel was my husband's actions. In a marriage, you see each other at your very worst. Trials like those that occurred this week often bring out major character flaws (example: me). Yet I had the opportunity to see the strengths in Aaron's character this week. He recognized that God sees things we don't, and that even if we don't understand at the moment, it's all a part of His plan. He handled himself impeccably, both in expressing his thoughts at home and through his actions at school. How blessed am I to have an example to follow in the man I chose as my life partner? How rare is it to continue to discover integrity and character rather than disappointment in your spouse and best friend?
I couldn't be more proud of Aaron, or more disappointed in myself. I'm a work-in-progress, and I hope that I pass the next trial in our lives as well as my husband.